The Default Setting: Moving from Automatic Habits to Mindful Choices

Growing up, we used those retro plastic ice cube trays. Every time we emptied them, we'd refill the grid and just chill for a few hours while the water froze. In the 70s and 80s, these trays were a household staple, and we never questioned whether there might be another way to get ice at home. We simply enjoyed quenching our thirst with tap water and a few ice cubes.

Fast forward to today, and we're living in an era of appliances with built-in ice makers, making it incredibly easy to enjoy an endless supply of cold beverages.

When I bought my current fridge-freezer, I initially opted for a simple model, but then decided to splurge on an upgrade: an automatic ice maker. On hot days, when I hear the plunk of ice dropping into the bin, I feel a sense of appreciation and joy. I recognize that this is an absolute luxury and a privilege that I try not to take for granted.

A few weeks ago, when the sun was blazing and the temperature soared to 105 degrees, my ice maker slowed its chugging reassuring sound, and soon took a turn for the worse. I tried not to panic, especially since I had just come in from the heat and was looking forward to a tall, cold glass of ice water.

After a deep breath and a reluctant acknowledgment of the problem, I focused on filling small containers with water to freeze, hoping to improvise my own “ice cubes.” I don't know why, but I sadly forgot about the classic ice cube trays and settled for this makeshift solution instead.

I tried to be brave, clever, and tackle a "do-it-yourself" fix. However, after doing a little research, the plumbing and electrical components intimidated me, so I called a professional. (See my last newsletter regarding the value of hiring professionals.) I scheduled an appointment, waited for parts, and a couple of weeks later, got everything back in working order. Finally, I was able to celebrate my new working ice maker!

In between the breakdown and the fix, I really could have used those old school ice cube trays.

Metaphorically speaking, these ice cube trays have served as survival strategies in the past. Yet somehow, they fell out of my toolbox and I was scrounging around for new implements.

It is funny how it can be so easy to lose touch with the old ways, and yet sometimes, old patterns stick with us for way too long. Our brains inherently rely on established default pathways to be more efficient and use less energy. The Default Mode Network (our brain's auto pilot) allows us to function without thinking too analytically. The antidote to auto pilot is, you guessed it: MINDFULNESS. This involves bringing awareness to your body, engaging your 5 senses, and paying attention to your external surroundings. All of these practices allow us to make more conscientious choices.

In therapy, we explore the difference between effective habits and stuck patterns. We discuss how we want to live and grow in ways that serve us better. While habits and patterns can be incredibly comforting, they can also become overly automatic, and sometimes, dysfunctional.

For me, my plan is to live life intentionally, including enjoying my ice, no matter how it's made!

…Now, don't even get me started on those nostalgic, and drippy homemade orange juice popsicles.

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