What If It Goes Better Than Expected?
You know that feeling before it rains? More specifically, the scent of the almost crisp, slightly burnt air that settles in before a massive thunderstorm. I always think someone is roasting marshmallows until I notice that the sky has darkened and the birds have stopped chirping.
Unexpected rainstorms often make me feel a little scared, a little excited, and a little focused on finding comfort and security. Think about when you experience that same feeling. Is it before giving a presentation? The night before leaving for a vacation? For some people, it shows up before attending a social event or going out for the evening. Often, it appears when we're about to try something new.
We often ask ourselves, 'What if this goes badly?' Far less often do we ask, 'What if it goes better than expected?'
We tend to assume that uncomfortable feelings mean something bad is about to happen. But sometimes those feelings are simply signs that we're stepping outside of what is familiar. They can signal uncertainty, growth, anticipation, and possibility all at once.
When I have plans for an evening out and yet I am inclined to stay home, I sometimes lay out my fuzzy socks before I leave. It sounds silly, but knowing they'll be waiting for me when I return can be surprisingly reassuring. It's a reminder that I can move through a positive challenge and still come back to comfort afterward.
When you feel nervous, what helps you get through it? What coping skills, routines, or rituals support you? Many people experience a common feeling of anxiety prior to a public speaking engagement. To prepare, they might rehearse thoroughly, wear a lucky item, hold a comforting object, or practice deep breathing in a quiet moment before it's time to step on stage.
In the outdoor therapy sessions I provide, I often hear about fears related to upcoming life events as well as long-standing patterns of anxiety and self-doubt. Together, we explore where these responses come from and how the nervous system has learned to react over time. We identify familiar patterns, consider alternative responses, and practice new ways of relating to discomfort.
Life is all about growth, and examining what is not working is just as important as moving forward. So next time you smell fear, or catch the whiff of an oncoming metaphorical storm, slow down, ask yourself about meaning and purpose, and try to see if you would like to do something a little different next time.
This past month, I did something I had never done before: I hired a professional photographer to take new photos for my website.
Months before the photoshoot, I worried it would be awful. I was terrified of being in front of the camera and unsure how to simply be myself. I planned what to wear, tried to calm my mind, paid the deposit, set the date, and probably had about fifteen nightmares before the big day.
What surprised me most was that on the morning of the shoot, I felt ready. Not only did I get through it, but I actually had a great time. The whole thing went better than expected!
Growth rarely happens by standing still. In many ways, that's why I love walk-and-talk therapy: sometimes clarity, confidence, and change emerge one step at a time, even when a storm seems to be gathering on the horizon.
I'm a firm believer in hiring experts to do what they do best, and I'm grateful for the talented people who helped bring this project to life.
A special thank you to photographer Ginny Filer for showing up with such ease, grace, and kindness. You made the entire experience genuinely enjoyable. Most photos in today's newsletter are credited to Ginny. Read more about photo day with Ginny here.
Thank you to the team at Boss Co. for their creative and technical work on my website. Please check out the wonderful new Positive Strides website, full of resources for both clients and clinicians.
METAPHOR OF THE MONTH
Sometimes there are moments that feel overwhelming or super emotional. One way to re-orient yourself is to plant your feet firmly on the ground. Notice the feeling as you make contact with the floor or the earth. Breathe and settle into the lower half of your body as you find a greater sense of calm and ease.
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